Your Friends May Not Be Your friends Anyway

I know we might be asking ourselves whether Evans talked to his friends before committing the heinous act. He will get stick for what he did but we forget that he went through a very tough moment. A moment that challenged his mental stability. Do not get me wrong and let it be known that I am against any form of violence. When the guy had this tough spell in his life, could be his friends laughed it off.

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Who knows maybe he tried confiding in his friends, narrowed down to his relatives, but no one understood him. Maybe nobody cared to listen to his cry, and he suffered inside. Put yourself in his position and think of what he lost as he sacrificed to educate his wife. You will realize that he suffered inside and needed psychological assistance.

Are You Sure You Have Friends?

Have you ever stopped and wondered whether your friends are truly your friends? Can they come through for you or they are just there because they have no option? Can they go out of their way to help you if you are seriously in need? I only have three friends that I am comfortable sharing my issues with. That is my dad, mom, and my spouse, in that order. Whenever I have an issue, my dad is the first person that share with. From there, I can then let my mom and spouse know of it if the issue is not “manly.”

Friends Who Became Family

I used to have friends who became family but all that changed. There was this one time as we were awaiting graduation in 2015 when I decided to call one of my friends. It was a norm that our greetings were full of insults, so he was like, “Niaje nyang’au,” loosely translated as “Hey you idiot!” We exchanged pleasantries then I broke the bad news to him. I am grateful because what I thought it was was proved otherwise by a medical test. I told my friend that I had contracted a deadly disease because I had googled its early signs and I had all that I read from the articles.

My Friend You Will Die

To my surprise, his first reaction was, “Kijana umecheza hadi ukashikwa na ugongwa. Utakufa (young man, your carelessness has led you into contracting a deadly disease. you will die).” Then he laughed religiously until I could not take it anymore. I called him because I was contemplating suicide if the medical report proved me right.

You may be wondering if we ever talked again. That was the last time we talked, not only with him but with the other three friends. I guess they were waiting to hear of my demise so that they could say how close we were. That is when I closed that chapter and decided to make new friends. So after graduation, everybody went on our separate ways, and we have never met. They are doing fine though.

Do Not Be Hopeful

We worked as contracted staff for quite some time as we waited for the betterment of our terms of engagement. So the period for confirmations came, and we did so many interviews. I have this one guy who claimed to be a very good friend of mine. Yeah, he was and still is a very good friend. When the time came, he asked me what I thought about the ongoing recruitment then I told him it could go to anyone but I was hopeful.

Do you his response? The response was like a stern warning to a child who sought permission from the dad to go and play with his friends. He told me that I should not be hopeful because he was sure I would not be among the lucky ones. His exact words were, “Do not be hopeful bwana!” It was funny but was very painful. I never lost hope though, and as they say, the rest is history.

Blood Donation Incident

A friend of mine narrated to me a situation that was similar to what had happened to me in 2015. He told me that his friend had a relative admitted to a hospital and needed blood. So he approached him and the other guys and requested that they go donate blood to help his patient. “We mobilised a few other friends and left for the hospital where we did our donation.” He said with a smile on his face. So as a concerned friend, every day he inquired about the progress and how the patient was fairing. He also asked whether the blood donated was enough and if it helped them.

An Afternoon to be Forgotten

So one afternoon, the friend who approached him privately, publicly claimed that his blood was never used. “That thing hit me hard. I wondered why he said it publicly. I felt like it was a mockery because, at the time of the request, it was a private affair.” He said, but this time, with a sad face. He said the statement made all the people seated there believe that the blood was rejected because of medical-related reasons.

After all, it was contaminated, but what do you think was the first suspicion? Yes, your guess is as good as mine. People looked at him suspiciously, and he even lost weight because it also got into him that he was sick, yet he wasn’t. The daunting thing is that even his closest friends cut communication because of the suspicion that he was sick. “That is when I knew that stigma is real.” He said. His friends only came through when they later realised that the blood was not rejected because of medical-related issues.

Friends who Became More than Friends

There are those of you who met strangers, became friends, defined your lives, and became friends. Your friendship led to a happily-ever-after engagement that has seen you build a family together. Initially, the friendship was very strong, but midway through, secrets crept in, and dishonesty became the norm. Your friend has caused you so much pain that the love is slowly turning to hate. What is keeping you in that union are your children, but the dreams of growing old together are now shattered. The friend has new male or female friends. What was meant to be a preserve for two friends is now shared with other “friends.”

For a Moment

Recall the day when you had a challenge, and made that call to your closest friends. That WhatsApp group is meant to raise funds for your wedding, ruracio, or to aid in clearing your school fees. Does the name of any of your friends appear? Did they even give you a call to offer emotional support? How many can you count on if the worst happened today? I was once asked if I had a friend who could get me 50k if I needed it urgently. For once, my thoughts lingered on only three people. The three that I mentioned above; are dad, mom, and my spouse. I have a few who can get me a few grands, but not more than 10k.

There are so many business opportunities that your supposed friends come across out here. I am certain, your friends have so many beautiful ideas that can give you some income. Have they bothered to share? What of the many online opportunities available now? So for a moment, stop and think whether your friends are your friends after all.