Tulia Nikuoe is a popular phrase among the Millennials and of late, the Gen Zers who are a fascinating lot have magnified it further. I recall a time when we were young, every time discussions on marriage came up, silence erupted. Most of us were stuck with the notion that there was a need to define life before we bring forth life. So what did we mean by the phrase, “acha ni define life kwanza?.” The fear of marriage started with millennials, but the Gen Zers have amplified it further!
Acha ni Define Life Kwanza
Life has no definite meaning. Though people consider it as the condition that differentiates animals and plants from inorganic matter, in the streets, life has no definite meaning. We all breathe in and out, eat, excrete, and engage in all other social stuff. As we engage in all these things, classism creeps in, and different people enjoy different successes at different ages. In short, there is no manual for living life. An individual’s definition of life makes sense when their goals slowly become reality. When you develop a sense of responsibility and strive to meet them, you slowly get the meaning of life. Below 25 years, one’s perspective and definition of life sharply contrast from that of a 30-year-old.
Sex’s role in defining life
Studies show that girls tend to “mature” faster than boys according to the International Journal of Anthropology. It is a no-brainer that fathers always advise their sons to marry girls younger than them. A minimum age difference of 5 years has always been the norm. According to Psychology today scientists attribute the earlier maturity in girls to brain connections which become streamlined earlier in girls. Because of this “maturity,” a female and a male aged 25 have different perspectives on life. A 37-year-old friend of mine once asked a 27-year-old lady out, and her response was astonishing. The lady softly rejected the offer by saying, “I am not 21 anymore.” Her response was a reflection of a person who knew what she wanted in life. This is unlike many men who would still be clubbing and having multiple partners to boost their body count!
Gen Zers fear Marriage more than Anything Else
During the recent demonstrations in Kenya, the fearless Gen Zers were asked what they feared the most. The majority of them feared notification of low battery, data below 2 mbs, and marriage. This generation is known for their direct nature and calling things the way they are. They do not sugarcoat things, and a greater percentage subscribe to no religion. They prefer to engage in sex which is a biological activity rather than being committed to someone in marriage. According to them, marriage is a social activity which can be avoided. Though it became amplified by the millennials, baby mamas, baby daddies and co-parenting have become a norm.
Two Contrasting Scenarios for Gen Zers
As the ladies “mature” faster than men, their peak, when it comes to marriage is at 25 years. Going by the 5-year gap, ladies at this age are married to 30-year-old men. An interesting thing is that female Gen Zers and millennials prioritise fans as they wait for Mr. right. Here is a screenshot of a post on X that captured our attention.
